Hogwarts and the Giant Bee
by Luna Loveg00d
Summary: The teachers of hogwarts are fed up with the school and want to blow it up? A giant bee comes to revolutionize hogwarts? written in conjunction with mi amiga Hannah. Main characters: Ginny, Luna, Dumbledore, and Mcgonagall. COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

Joelle: So, that harry guy, he sucks. He's just really lucky.  
  
Hannah: I know, he's a bitch!  
  
Joelle: Yes he is. But that Mcgonagall and Dumbledore they kick ass! ...and Luna and Ginny... They're cool. But the rest suck  
  
Hannah: They do  
  
Joelle: You know what we need?  
  
Hannah: What?  
  
Joelle: A giant bee.  
  
Hannah: We do?  
  
Joelle: Yes! Yes we do! You know what, we should write a story about Mcgonagall, Dumbledore, Ginny, and Luna blowing up hogwarts and running away on a giant bee  
  
Hannah: We really should!!!!!!  
  
Joelle: Yes.  
  
And thus our tale begins.... 


	2. Overture

Once upon a time there was a magical school of magic called Hogwarts. And a giant bee. (Hannah: the bee was named mitchell) and what a beautiful bee it was. And the school. Which was large, gray, and made of stone (Joelle: it wasn't a particularly interesting school). But oh that bee was quite a bee (Hannah: oh yes he was). He was gorgeous, and blue. With yellow stripes. And the school was grey. Unfortunately, our story takes place in the school. Not the bee (Hannah: Very unfortunate... Joelle: Indeed it is.).  
  
In the school were many many people...but they're not important. (Hannah: right, with the exception of like... 5 ppl. Joelle: 4 actually...whose the 5th? Hannah: moaning myrtle of course Joelle: oh yes.) In the school, 2 professors were talking. One had a big silver beard. The other was...er...well she was lacking the beard, for she was a woman (Hannah: whose name was Shannon Blubberbrain Joelle: Well actually I was thinking more along the lines of Mcgonagall...but Shannon it is.).  
  
Now this Shannon lady said "Oh my, whatever are we to do? This place is so large, and gray, and full of idiots!"  
  
Then Dumbledude said "Except for a few people." (Hannah: Dumbledude? Joelle: Sure, why not?)  
  
So Shannon and Dumbledude sat there contemplating (Hannah: *pondering*) when the bee flew by (Joelle: Whatever were they to do? Hannah: dum dum dum!). The bee then said "Hello there". And Dumbledude and Shannon then proceeded to scream (Hannah: Oh my. But eventually (Joelle: after lots of screaming) said hello. 


	3. Movement

Joelle: Are you there?  
  
Joelle: How are we supposed to continue  
  
Joelle: If your not there?  
  
hannah: I am here  
  
hannah: So sorry  
  
Anyway, so to recap, there's the bee and the Shannon and the Dumbledude (Hannah: nice recap Joelle: thank you).  
  
Well then these girls walked in and said "Dumbledude help! What's with the bee?"  
  
Dumbledude really couldn't answer that, because he didn't quite know what was with the bee himself. But it was very pretty, (Hannah: and that's all that mattered) and it was big (Joelle: which mattered even more because it made it scary Hannah: right. it was enormous)  
  
Joelle: So. You add something. So far we have some girls, Dumbledude and Shannon, and the bee.  
  
Ok, well, the girls, they were going to be late for class, when all of a sudden Luna Lovegood shows up. She is perplexed by the bee, but instead of staring in awe she jumps on it and flys away ( Joelle: Oh bravo! Hannah: I thought it added a nice touch, doesn't it? Joelle: It really does you know.). 


	4. Climax

Joelle: For the remix of the recap Luna just jumped on the bee and rode off and the girls left, so Shannon and Dumbledude are left sitting there stupefied.  
  
Hannah: I think that covers it pretty well.  
  
So later that day Dumbledude and Shannon are in the Grand Hall with the rest of the school (Hannah: but the other people don't matter right now), and they're thinking "whoa we still have a dumb school. and now a girl just jumped out the window and is riding a bee". And then Ginny walks up to them excitedly raises her hands up high and screams out  
  
"TEACHERS! I HAVE THE SOLUTION! TAKE NOTES NOW..." She then holds out a round black thing and screams "A BOMB!"  
  
Shannon and Dumbledude are quite impressed and stand up, clap, and say "Hooray!"  
  
Joelle: your turn  
  
Hannah: then what?  
  
Joelle: I dunno it's your turn!  
  
Hannah: um.....  
  
Ok, so they're still kinda freaked out because, their school is insane (Joelle: I thought we left off with the bomb part?). So they make a law saying that everyone has to be interesting, or else they are expelled, which makes them even more boring and dull (Joelle: But the bomb! What happened to the bomb?). The bomb made a huge hole in the wall, and lots of students escaped through it (Joelle: works for me.).  
  
Hannah: i dunno where to go with it...  
  
Joelle: i have it!  
  
Dumbledude and Shannon decide that they need a bigger bomb, so they send ginny off to get one. But then, all of a sudden...  
  
All of a sudden Luna comes back on the bee bursting through the window. The bee and Luna hover in the air for a while until Luna shouts out "STOP!!!!!!!!!" The whole school stops to stare at her.  
  
What is Luna thinking? Where does the giant bee come in? What does this have to do with Harry Potter (Hannah: nothing of course!)? Will Dumbledude and Shannon solve the problem of the horrible school? Who is this Shannon person anyway (Joelle: She's Mcgonagall...with a new name)? Why is Harry Potter so annoying? All this and less (Hannah: I like that little twist there) in the thrilling conclusion of  
  
Hogwarts and the Giant Bee  
  
(Joelle: I thought it was kind of suspenseful in an intimidatingly cliche sort of way. Hannah: Well it does sound kind of nice...) 


	5. Finale

Hannah: So Luna just arrived on the flying bee and intends to stop Shannon and Dumbledude from blowing up the school. Anything else?  
  
Joelle: No I think that covers it.  
  
"The bee has a better solution" said Luna calmly  
  
"Oh, really?" replied Shannon  
  
"Yes the bee does"  
  
"Well, what solution is better?"  
  
Luna smirked "I'll show you" (Hannah: it's good we got some conversation in. Joelle: makes it more lifelike)  
  
As the bee saw it's cue, it took this as a sign to start dancing, and after a bit of beautiful ballet sings in a low pitched opera-like voice "What hogwarts needs is a (Hannah: dum dum dum!) MARCHING BAND!"  
  
Hannah: ?! Hold on a minute...  
  
Joelle: yes?  
  
Hannah: Marching band?  
  
Joelle: yes.  
  
Hannah: ...I guess that works...  
  
After a moments pause from the whole school, Dumbledude walks forward and then says "A MARCHING BAND? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF IT!" He takes out his wand and conjures instruments for everybody. They all stare at their instruments awkwardly for a moment. Then he adds "And....the bee shall teach you all." At this the whole school breaks out in applause and cheers (Hannah: YAY!) "Hogwarts shall have the best marching band ever!"And there was much rejoicing!  
  
Hannah: and then what?  
  
Joelle: Well then they all break out in song  
  
Hannah: which song?  
  
Joelle: I don't know you figure it out.  
  
Hannah: what happened to completely knocking down the school?  
  
Joelle: well...wouldn't you rather have a marching band then a pile of rubble?  
  
Hannah: YELLOW SUBMARINE!  
  
Joelle: what?  
  
Hannah: no, I mean they all sing 'yellow submarine'  
  
Joelle: brilliant! Simply brilliant!  
  
Hannah: Let's all sing along!  
  
Then the marching band starts playing, and the bee sings out (Hannah: do they have tassels on their uniforms? Joelle: yes they do)  
  
Bee: In the town where I was born,  
  
Lived a man,  
  
Who sailed the seas,  
  
And he told us of his life,  
  
In the land of Submarines,  
  
So we sailed into the sun,  
  
Till' we found a sea of green,  
  
And we lived beneath the waves,  
  
In our yellow submarine,  
  
And then the whole school breaks out into the chorus!  
  
Everybody: We all live in a yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine.  
  
(Hannah: YAY! La la la la la la la)  
  
And then Dumbledude sings!  
  
Dumbledude: And my friends are all aboard,  
  
Many more of them live next door,  
  
And the band begins to play,  
  
(Hannah: *holds up toy submarine* whee!)  
  
And then band begins to play...and they play quite well. Then back to the chorus!  
  
Everybody: We all live in a yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine.  
Then bee does the final verse (Hannah: YAY!).  
  
Bee: And we live a life of ease,  
  
Everyone of us,  
  
Is all we need,  
  
Sky of blue (luna echos) Sky of blue  
  
And sea of green (shannon echos) Sea of green  
  
In our yellow (ginny echos) In our yellow  
  
Submarine (dumbledude echos) submarine!  
  
Then they all finish it off with a round of  
  
Everybody: We all live in a yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine,  
  
A yellow submarine.  
  
Joelle: THE END  
  
Hannah: No! It can't be over yet!  
  
Joelle: Why not?  
  
Hannah: Moaning Myrtle  
  
Joelle: Oh yeah, forgot about that one.  
  
Then to finish the song off moaning myrtle comes in and ends the story with a fantastic breakdancing solo!  
  
Le Fin  
  
Hannah: 'twas a fine story.  
  
Joelle: It really was you know. 


End file.
